More Damiane, Broken Fox Tails divided to bring people together and Grumpy's

Last night my best friend and I had a few drinks at the Dominion Square Tavern. It's owned by our same friend who owns the Baldwin Barmacie which is our favorite hangout spot in the whole wide world so we were expecting nothing but the best from this new (old) tavern. He pulled it off amazingly. The pub is right out of the 1920's. We had our friend give us the approximate year of every single chandelier, cigar sign, tile on the floor and photograph decorating the room. It was like going back in time. And the food smelled delicious. We met all the staff, an amazing bunch of hard working little people in white blouses and got to sample some new up and coming drinks. My personal favorite was the "Canuck": rye, fresh lemon juice, maple syrup and some other thing that starts with a-m-b I think.


My best friend got me a tiger's eye/griffon's eye stone, to protect me from evil spirits of course that I'll safely carry in my purse or pockets at all times. I love that she always gets 2 of everything as to involve me in all her black magic. She then stroked my fox tail so hard that she broke it in two, so we each kept a piece. Later we found ourselves tearing it in 3 to share with our new friend Hubert the cook, who later asked for my number. Actually his buddy asked me for him but it was okay. Later I was forced to roll a Damiane joint because our new friends wanted to experience it's effects since my best friend convinced them so well with her pretty blue eyes. Now when did I become a master at rolling joints? In public? I have no idea. I don't even really know how, but I did it.

Got back inside, had a little guy sitting behind us come and join us at the bar for a strange conversation. Turns out he produced a musical horror film. I wasn't sure he was telling the truth but then again I don't think he believed me when I said I was a native and that's why I had feathers in my hair and the I carried a fox tail with me, because they were my totem spirit animals, duh. So I gave him my email so that he could send me the preview to his movie since apparently he would have it's world premier at the Toronto Film Festival. Well this morning I woke up to an email with a link to this: http://www.stumpysam.com/

It was really true and looks kind of interesting! I had never heard of a musical horror film. Have you?


Left the Dominion around 1 with a few new friends and decided to find a hidden little jewel. Well that jewel was called Grumpy's. Hidden in a basement and greeting us with the scariest wood carving of a gnome that I did not take a picture of possibly cause I was too drunk or frightened, was a small, cosy little dingy bar with a band playing and people singing along. The singer had the greatest stache in the world, he was missing one of his front tooth and had a wolf printed on the back of his waxed denim jacket. Obviously I went to him, commented on his sweet jacket then proceeded to show him the wolf engraving on my wallet. He said it was a cool wallet. That made my night.

I've done something so very bad

Last week I was feeling really frisky but I had no one to share my frisk with. So, after thinking about it thoroughly (not really) I posted an ad on craigslist in the "casual encounters" section. My post was short and to the point. About 20 mins later, my inbox was flooded with messages from guys desperately seeking a FWB or a NSA relationship. I thought I had narrowed down the amount of dummies that would respond by adding a few requests. Tall, gifted in the penile area, no more than 10 years my elder and a picture. When I asked for a picture I meant a picture of you and your budz drinking beer around a campfire not of your boner sticking out of your briefs. I was surprised at how many guys had pictures of their shlongs. I mean, I understand popping a chubby when reading my post then taking a picture of it with your brand new IPhone and sending it. But having 4 pictures, all in different angles, in a different setting...some with cock ring some without... that's just strange. Here are some of the replies I got:


"I read your post and I'm still trying to picture you. I'm just not looking for anything serious right now though, just some fun. Lots of fun lol. Since I didn't include a pic here is my physical description: I'm 23, I have light brown skin, I'm slim, handsome (when shaved lol) and I have dark brown hair and eyes. You're inbox will likely be flooded with responses from a lot guys (some creepy) so the chances of me getting a reply from you are probably slim but it would be nice to get an email back from you, and if you do send one I'll give you a pic.

P.S. I'm a virgin if that sort of thing matters to you "

Handsome when shaved? Then not handsome with scruff? What kind of guy are you?! Oh wait, the virgin kind. I specified that I was looking for someone who could satisfy me, not a n0Ob who needs training. Although I might deflowering a guy older than me... Perhaps I will take him up on his offer later...

"Does 6ft tall and 8 inches work?"

If you look like Josh Hartnett, yes. If you have a limp and a lisp, no. Plus, Where's my picture at dammit!?

"hi, i am 6 feet tall - not sure if you consider that tall enough. i am also gifted down there. pic is attached - let me know if you want to get together i am 180lbs, good shape, good looking. "

On his picture, Monsieur was sporting a blue speedo which he displayed so well laid out on his 80's patterned couch, resting on his side like the white hairy beluga whale he is. Where the face should be, a big black square had been drawn in paint. You're good looking? I'll be the judge of that honey.

"Hi there,
I guess we have a couple of options here. We could start an email relationship, or maybe we could get together for a cup of tea and some stimulating conversation and make friends. And then after I can validate that you're actually a REAL person we can talk about ways to get you satisfied.
Give me a call or text me or send me an email. My number is (514) 995-****. By the way, where can I reach you if I want to call you ten times a day?"


Oh okay! So all of a sudden my post is about you? You get to tell me that I'm a real person.

Stimulating conversation? Whu?! I just want to get laid!

This guy turned out to be quite funny in the end. Maybe I'll join him for tea one day.


"Very hung, really thick. I stand 6'2. drop me a line if you want toget this going. I can't wait to unleash the moster :-)"

What's a moster?


"Not tonight but Friday...... I'm heading out to Cresent street this Friday, you show up in a short skirt with no panties I'll buy all the drinks and food you can consume!! Are you ready??"

(sigh) Once again guys... I put up the ad for the night that I put up my ad! Not the next day, or Friday! No panties? What is this? I like to be decent when I leave my place. Plus no picture! humm.. how about.. no.


"Hey I’m tall and I know how to use it, lemme know if u like what you see ;)"

This one doesn't sound so bad right? That's cause you've got no picture to go with it. No I don't like what I see because all I see is an uncut shriveled up thing with excess skin hanging from the tip. Icky!

"i'm ready to takeyou Martin i can provide v.i.p. and 420 too..."

Umm...no.


This is just a sample of what I got. I ended up choosing this guy that was one of the first to respond. It was good, not great but decent. Plus he was normal and we had things in common.



Have you ever posted or responded to an ad looking for filth?





Currently listening to Asher Roth, I love College.

Things are improving

Back to business.


All is good. Healing well. Nothing but a soar throat and a little pain. I'm good as long as I've got Advil in my system.


Just got back from the States. Zipped through the airport like a champ. I almost lost my shit at check-in just because I'm like that. Anxiety and all. But then I took a few deep breaths and focused on the studying I did the last 2 times I took the plane. In 20 mins I was in, comfy on a chair facing the window, reading my book. I impressed me.


Illinois was pretty lame. I got to see J and the dogs, which was great. I missed them so much. I wasn't sure they'd remember me but by the end of my trip, I was positive they did. Hungout for a day in Chicago, it was okay. Alot like Montreal. I know I always say I can't wait to leave this place but if I had to chose, Montreal would win.We saw Scott Pilgrim Vs the World too. It was so good! I hadn't had that much fun in a while. Loved all the Zelda references and even got the Death Note reference to Misa. I was proud. Speaking of anime, we decided to start over Full Metal Alchemist that night. One of the best shows out there. While we were enjoying the show, my dogs decided they would enjoy J's joint. He went to light it then couldn't find it where he had left it, in the ashtray. We then flipped over the whole apartment looking for it and nada. We both looked at Mr.Waffles (yes that's his real name) and J jumped on him to hold him still while I smelled is little doggy breath. Yup, smelled like Marijuana alright. So I put my finger down his throat trying to make him puke up the little sucker. He just wouldn't let go of that thing. So we waited in fear. Pan has eaten pot twice already so we knew what to expect. A drunk looking dog with a very slow (see almost nonexistent) heartbeat followed by a 500$ vet bill. We decided to skip the vet bill this time. About 20 mins later he started to get the shakes. The next 6 hours was us trying to keep him awake every time he closed his eyes. Oh, and about an hour later, Pan got high too. She just couldn't let Mr.Waffles party alone, could she? The morning came and they were still a bit stoned, but fine. FU vets!


My relationship has been getting better with Siwy (or is it Suwy? I call her Seaweed) my roommate's dog. The first night I met her she bit me. And then she tried to bite me about 5 other times. She's a mean dog. But we are all warned. There are signs everywhere and she just hates every single girl out there, except Audrey, but she's tried biting her too. Lately Seaweed has been greeting me with a huge smile and a wagging tail. Possibly because I've been feeding her my leftovers but I like to think it's because I tamed her. I took her on a walk, TWICE. I'm proud of me, cause she's fkn scary. She's a wild dog. Was raised on a native reserve as a hunting dog. Belonged to the chief of that native reserve then given to my roommate. How cool is that?


Audrey was a no show last night. Was called in for work or something. Wtv.
I had two choices, either starve to death or try and make something. So I did. And my roommate said it smelled "really good" when he walked in. Damn right it did. You can do anything if you put your hungry belly to it.

Doesn't look so bad eh?

I hear Popeye...... I just realized why he's called Popeye.
Everything makes sense now.
Anyway, spinach is good for you.



For all you English Speakers the sign reads:
Danger, I may be small but I know Kung-Fu.
This is the sign that greets guests in my entrance.




My two stoner dogs.

<3

Currently listening to N*E*R*D, She Wants to move

Did I ever say I met N*E*R*D? 'cause I did.

Magic Herbs, 90's Boy Bands & Big Berries

My best friend's a freak. It's pretty amusing because she's gorgeous and her looks don't project her personality at all. Which sometimes leaves guys dumbfounded... or scared. We met up yesterday and she had rolled us a spliff of "Damiane". I usually don't smoke but I just had to give this a try. Apparently my best friend wants to become a herbalist (with a degree in psychology) and "Damiane" makes you incredibly horny. So I took us to a park where we smoked the poor sucker. 2 guys took the picnic table next to us and toked a regular joint. They kept on laughing being amazed that we had the same idea they did. We left the parc and handed them one of the joints. I wonder if they started to turn each other on by then end of the evening, cause we definitely felt it.



Anyway, our favorite words that evening were:



King Pin - meaning something very cool as in " I met a guy called Nicolas and he's going to Bicolline next weekend. His costume is King Pin." ( translate this to French and say King Pin while trying to pretend to be good at English. Also, Bicolline is an amazing LARP event a couple of hours away from my home. Another thing I'll be missing this year. Perhaps next year the stars will align. What should I go as? A dark mage? A viking valkyrie? Or an archer elf? Check out some of the picture, the costumes are nuts. http://picasaweb.google.ca/crete.sebas/Bicolline1008#)

and

Madgepodgepres (which is really Map-o-spread but said by a drunken Frenchie) I don't even know how this word came so frequently in our conversation.

So the night was fine. We hung out at our usual spot, which if you guys ever come to Montreal have to swing by. One of our friends owns it. It's one of the top places in MTL. When I say top I don't mean best douchebag hangout with the latest from Tiesto booming from the speakers. I mean the drinks are great, the crowd is usually pretty chill, the bar looks good, they make THE BEST Grill-Cheeses and Mac & Cheese AND the music is amazing. We like to play a game where whoever as the most songs played a the bar in their Ipod wins. Wins what? Probably dignity.


We like to sit at the bar to chat with the staff. Normally we're deeply in a conversation about psychoanalysis, what's new in music or just ripping every scenester in the place. We go there cause we're comfortable and we have things to tell each other, not to give out numbers. At some point between exchanging burnt cds and dishing out the latest boy talk, 2 guys sat next to us and it was just way too obvious that they would hit. So they did. About 6 times. All Jameson shots. Don't like that, tastes like peroxide. I had one then tossed the rest under my seat every time. My gf was piss drunk by 11:30 and was trying to figure out why the dude at the end of the bar was unhappy. She told me to entertain Janny(the Italian one) while she would take Nick Lachey outside to try and "figure him out". I don't remember his name and call him Nick Lachey because he really did look like her was part of 98degrees. Remember them? I certainly do. The Hit List was my favorite thing to watch on Friday nights. Anyway, I ended up drawing on a napkin and kind of ignoring Janny. He bugged me right from the beginning and lives in a neighborhood I don't like. I'm West Side, he's North-East. Bleh.

Saw "Despicable Me" today with the siblings. It was okay. I thought it would be a bit funnier though. But get this, at some point Steve Carell's character says to his 3 young daughters "I'll stuff you all in the crust!"


WHAT?!


I can only imagine him reading the script and saying: " ...you... really want me to say "I'll - Stuff - You - All - In - The - Crust? Really? ya okay then...""

I LOLed in the theatre. My 7 year old sister asked me what was so funny? I said you're too young.


Tomorrow I take the plane for the first time on my own. That'll be funny.

Eee.. I just put this one up 'cause "have you seen the size of these blackberries!"

Not normal. But tasty. Very tasty.



The crazy one with a shot of Nick in the back.

Looks gross? Probably. But you've never had it. I don't like pickles

but I eat these ones.

Currently listening to The Man's Machine, Jamie T

Movement

Not much going on today, but tons this month.


I went downtown to shop a bit today. On the way there I got hit on twice in less than 5 mins. I started laughing to myself hysterically after the second one. It's always the same thing "Hey, I like your tattoos!" Shut it you Ed Hardy lover, fake Lacoste Polo wearing jerk. No, you don't like my tattoos and I definitely didn't get them for you to hit on me or have a conversation about their meaning with strangers (unless you're uber hot or you play the violin very well). On my way back, some Mormons or Jehovah's witnesses or whoever it is that tries to convert you to their shit, were doing their usual business. Listen boys, when a girl has headphones plugged in her ears, tapping her fingers and feet to what she's listening to and staring at the floor or at nothing being deeply in thought, it's not the right time to come and try to impress. You can clearly see that I'm busy so don't bother trying. It already pisses me off enough that I have to pretend that I can't hear you because my headphones are in, so don't make me take them out.


It was nice and hot this morning when I left so I wore my white dress. On the way back home it got really grey and windy so I treated everyone (unintentionally) to a Marilyn Monroe white dress flutter. Mine probably showed a bit more skin though. Oops. Do not fear though, I never leave the house without any knickers (one of my favorite words) unless I'm going to a party that calls for it. At my old salon there was a Marilyn/Audrey theme going and I used to ask some of the clients who they preferred. I've always liked Audrey Hepburn more. She looks smarter.


So tons of stuff happening this month. Taking my younger siblings to see Despicable Me on Thursday, leaving for Illinois on Friday, coming back a few days later, then it's off the hospital, a few days of getting better, then cooking ( I don't know how I'm gonna do it) up a storm for my mom's wedding shower, attending and hosting my mom's wedding shower, leaving for Toronto for a few days, then coming back for the wedding, then finally leaving for England. Ouf! I'm gonna miss the anime convention and Warpaint though... oh well.


Hanging out with my best friend tonight. Can't wait to see her, it's been too long. It's always fun with her. It's like when we're together we have this crazy energy that attracts cool/weird things. We can usually plan our night before it happens. She thinks it's telekinesis, I say it's synchronicity. We'll probably go to our usual spot or maybe somewhere we've never been. She's been writing down magic potions in a leather notebook I got for her in Turkey. Can't wait to see what this is about.



Currently listening to Cudi Zone, Kid Cudi

Started Stalking Again...

Stopped by Java U where I think I saw Melancholy Boy working a few weeks back. We were driving by when Audrey proposed that I should go have a look.I thought I had put my stalker years behind but she revived it in me. We stepped in and no, no Melancholy Boy. I didn't think he would be there. Sunday just seems like a day that he wouldn't make himself available for work. Anyway, he wasn't there, but this was:

Isn't this hilarious? You can't really tell from this picture but more coins filled the "Yes" mug.

I don't know much about Haiti or Presidency so it's hard for me to have an opinion on this. I think it's a good thing to have an entertainer get involved in politics because it appeals more to the youth and may help move things around a bit. I'm not sure though, that a guy who had a song with The Rock should be president. But, the song does have a strong message. No body cares how much money you got if you keep it all to yourself.

So if you have money, I'll be glad to send you my account information in order for you to get my attention and dedicated caring. " 'Cause if you ain't sharin, people ain't carin . "

Remember that.

Currently listening to Cult Logic, Miike Snow

When reactions turn into hurricanes

Alright,

So here's the deal on Cody. Cody always reminds me of one of those tall and slender anime characters. The one's with shiny smiles, self-confidence, composed, calm nature and contagious laughter. Cody was 6"5, blond hair, blue eyes and I met him at my salon a few months ago. My boss called him Hercules.


I've been seeing Cody for a few months now. But I think it's over. Probably for the best though. This guy is amazing. He's much older than me but looks and sounds only a few years my elder. He drives boats, knows how to fix things, he's an amazing cook, has pecs like you've never seen(I've never cared much for guys that workout but he looked great) and drives a red sports car. I think he knows who he is more than most people do when they die. He's all about being the greatest person you can be and living life well and to the fullest. He's dedicated. Stopped his business a few years ago, lives at home, takes care of his handicapped mom, his aging workaholic dad that can't cook or do laundry, his sick dog, keeping his house in order, all with a broken back. He is one of the toughest people I know.

I always want to know what this guy is up to. He's just so fun to hangout with and listen to. We started seeing each other every 2 days, leaving us one night to take it easy and sleep, to be in good shape for our next hangouts. The thing is, Cody is unlike anyone I've ever met. It's amazing but very confusing at times. He lost it at me in our beginning because I called him weird. I meant "weird" as in different, something I like. But he took it bad, told me he was "done", spoke to me in the coldest words ever spoken to me and left me in tears, not understanding a single thing. The next day we spoke again, turned out we had both not slept and decided to keep being friends, or whatever we were.

One of the reasons I haven't been sleeping well is that people text me late at night, so I'm always expecting a message and never shut my eyes completely. Cody gets really strange at night. I've wondered a few times if he's developing some sort of late night paranoia but I give him a break. He deals with so much and he's on tons of pills and is in pain and tired of his strenuous day. But almost every night I don't spend in his room, I get texts, that don't always make sense and make me nervous about our relationship. It's pretty stressful always being afraid to say the wrong thing and risking losing someone again. A few weeks later we got into an argument that we were seeing each other too much to not move forward. It had to move or end. That was fine with me, only I felt that I could still not hold his hand in public and kissing was reserved for the bed or when I'm about to leave. It was always a spy game against his parents. Coming in from the back door when they were sleeping or busy than exiting in the morning like a hooker that spent the night. I feel like he's embarrassed of me, because of where we met. Or maybe it's my tattoos - I don't' know. I've been wanting to meet his parents, so that I wouldn't have to hide anymore but I was afraid they wouldn't like me or be embarrassed too. I was hoping to introductions would be made many times but it's difficult, having to plan the meeting in advance as to not upset the sick mom and grumpy dad.

I got a call this morning. Around 4 I think. It was Cody. He was out partying with his friends even though he said he would stay in, take it easy and rest his back. The convo started like usual, nonsense of funny jokes and things that happened during the evening. At some point he had not even finished his sentence then just said: " I have to stop talking now I"m talking too much. I can't talk to you like I do with a friend."

I thought that was an extremely weird thing to say. I always like to hear him talk, even if I'm half asleep and I shouldn't be interested. I am. I then said "okay, why not? Aren't we friends at least?"

He didn't like that one bit. Changed his tone completely, started ripping me telling me that I'm playing little girl games and that I don't have his back and why would I say something like that? I thought we were more than friends?

Then I got really confused. I said: Exactly we are more than friends, so that means you should at least be able to talk to me like friends." And then he went on, saying he was done. I was fake. I'm just a little girl who knows nothing. He treats me like a princess and I don't know what I want. I said okay, you're right. But I never said I wasn't a little girl or that I knew what I want. I'm well aware that I don't know what I want, and that I'm immature. It took him a while for him to tell me his age in the beginning, but then he said age didn't matter. I thought he meant it for both ways, but I guess I was too young. He then went on to say he's met girls like me before, we're no good, I half to stay in my apartment, do my own shit and stay out of his life. Harsh eh? This all came out of nowhere. So once again I'm left, confused as fuck, feeling like the worst kind of backstabbing person in the world. Just for wanting to be spoken to openly about anything, like a friend would do. Anyway, I tried to argue that this made no sense and that he didn't get what I said. That I didn't say anything bad but he wouldn't hear it. He asked, no ordered me to hang up on him multiple times but I kept trying, because I thought I should fight for it, I mean I really do care about him. And then he said he would make me cry and I should just leave him alone. Then he called me garbage and hung up on me.

I didn't cry. I knew this was coming. I was always afraid to say something in the wrong intonation or use a word he didn't like. It's probably better off this way. I just wish he believed me when I say nothing I did was fake. I was always honest with him. I guess the age difference was an issue after all.

I never said I was a woman. I know I'm lost and confused, but I'm enjoying finding out. I have tons of issues; no father figure, rough childhood, anxiety, sickness, but I know all this, and I never pretended once to deny these things. You can't be upset at someone for not being something they never said or believed to be. That's all I have to say.

Currently not listening to anything. It's too early in the morning, don't want to wake up anyone else after that phone call.

I like this guy. He's from where I'm from, and he's funny.

The same issue over and over again..!

Alright,

so I was watching CNN 2 nights ago and they had on Bethenny Frankel and two other ladies to discuss the issue that is marital cheating. Seems like this is the new hit topic of the summer. Even msn and the local newspapers have had articles on this, whether it's become "fashionable" or something stupid like that. I've discussed this many times and I'm never sure where I stand. After watching the ridiculous debate with Bethenny and the 2 other mistresses, Cody asked me if I believed cheating could help a relationship. I thought about it for a few seconds then answered yes. I'm not sure about that "yes" though. I think in some cases it can help ( in a way...) but not always. I mean if you're looking somewhere else, it means you're not completely content. Right?

I've expressed my view on this many times. Recently too. I find it hard to be monogamous. Not that I constantly feel the urge to cheat on someone but I can't help to love to live with different people, and feel different things. Do I think it can help a marriage? Maybe. I think it can help in a way that a man (or woman) is mentally or physically unsatisfied but loves and cares with deepest feelings for his/her spouse. It's not a question of hurting someone or doing something wrong. It's about making yourself happy. We always look to fill the holes (I don't mean for this to be a sexual innuendo). So I think if a person will go dip their feet in someone elses pond every now and then, well it is possible that this would help a relationship last. keeping yourself stimulated and happy will project on your relationship. We all cheat. Not always physically, but emotionally. And which is worst really? We've all had a crush on someone else at some point or couldn't wait for that special other someone to log on so you could have another amazing conversation.

Bethenny was arguing that marriage is an arrangement and that "if you plan on cheating, don't get married!". Well first of all Bethenny, I know cheating is usually a no-no when you're in any kind of relationship but you don't go to jail if you do so. So it's a rule, but not really. How many women are married to men how cheat and are aware of this and keep on going? Tons. ( I saw the perfect example on Dr. Phil the next day. This lady had employed private investigators to catch her man cheating. They did, and 2 years later she's still with him. If it's so wrong, then just end it.) And secondly, no one gets involved with someone planning to cheat. It just happens. I see it all the time, working where I work. Doesn't mean these guys don't love their wives. In fact, they are all they talk about, them and their children.

The debate was pretty funny to watch. You've got Bethenny losing it trying to prove to everyone that she has the perfect relationship and these 2 former mistresses, one a little space cadet and the other an uber feminist mistress, all talking over each other trying to make people accept what they've done. They even brought in this loser who caught his wife cheating on Facebook (Facebook for christ's sake! What else is it good for? Inflating the ego of the already conceited, right.) and started a cyber support group for others like him. Obviously they only spoke with him 45 seconds then went right back to the bickering and cat fighting of the 3 guest femme fatals. At some point, Miss Holly the Space Cadet event said in her soothing Australio-Hippy voice that "we all need to share our partners. If your friend is lonely or bored, you should offer your spouse to her. It's a beautiful thing really". HA! I'm not the most faithful person on earth but this is just plain wacky. Then you got the other woman attacking Bethenny by saying that "the next reality show should be about mistresses, and how they fall for married men, never get the goods and must live in the wives's shadows. This is the next reality show!" Well Bethenny replied to that one with a witty " If I was as angry as you, my husband would have cheated on me too."

What?! This is all happening a few minutes right before Anderson Cooper and the issue with the Muslim cultural center being built 2 blocks away from ground zero. Seriously?

Anyway, all this to say that this topic should not be discussed on t.v. and as long as no one is getting hurt then whatever. I have no idea what's right and what's not. All I know is that was one stupidly entertaining piece of news.


this blog makes me sound like I watch Dancing with the Stars and Say Yes to the Dress religiously but I really don't. I never watch t.v. on my own. I watch the news at Cody's, Dr.Phil was playing at work and I had no idea who Bethenny Frankel was until I googled her when I noticed she was on Perez Hilton alot.

What do you guys think?

Currently listening to Ellie Goulding, Lights