Thursday, August 5, 2010

The same issue over and over again..!


so I was watching CNN 2 nights ago and they had on Bethenny Frankel and two other ladies to discuss the issue that is marital cheating. Seems like this is the new hit topic of the summer. Even msn and the local newspapers have had articles on this, whether it's become "fashionable" or something stupid like that. I've discussed this many times and I'm never sure where I stand. After watching the ridiculous debate with Bethenny and the 2 other mistresses, Cody asked me if I believed cheating could help a relationship. I thought about it for a few seconds then answered yes. I'm not sure about that "yes" though. I think in some cases it can help ( in a way...) but not always. I mean if you're looking somewhere else, it means you're not completely content. Right?

I've expressed my view on this many times. Recently too. I find it hard to be monogamous. Not that I constantly feel the urge to cheat on someone but I can't help to love to live with different people, and feel different things. Do I think it can help a marriage? Maybe. I think it can help in a way that a man (or woman) is mentally or physically unsatisfied but loves and cares with deepest feelings for his/her spouse. It's not a question of hurting someone or doing something wrong. It's about making yourself happy. We always look to fill the holes (I don't mean for this to be a sexual innuendo). So I think if a person will go dip their feet in someone elses pond every now and then, well it is possible that this would help a relationship last. keeping yourself stimulated and happy will project on your relationship. We all cheat. Not always physically, but emotionally. And which is worst really? We've all had a crush on someone else at some point or couldn't wait for that special other someone to log on so you could have another amazing conversation.

Bethenny was arguing that marriage is an arrangement and that "if you plan on cheating, don't get married!". Well first of all Bethenny, I know cheating is usually a no-no when you're in any kind of relationship but you don't go to jail if you do so. So it's a rule, but not really. How many women are married to men how cheat and are aware of this and keep on going? Tons. ( I saw the perfect example on Dr. Phil the next day. This lady had employed private investigators to catch her man cheating. They did, and 2 years later she's still with him. If it's so wrong, then just end it.) And secondly, no one gets involved with someone planning to cheat. It just happens. I see it all the time, working where I work. Doesn't mean these guys don't love their wives. In fact, they are all they talk about, them and their children.

The debate was pretty funny to watch. You've got Bethenny losing it trying to prove to everyone that she has the perfect relationship and these 2 former mistresses, one a little space cadet and the other an uber feminist mistress, all talking over each other trying to make people accept what they've done. They even brought in this loser who caught his wife cheating on Facebook (Facebook for christ's sake! What else is it good for? Inflating the ego of the already conceited, right.) and started a cyber support group for others like him. Obviously they only spoke with him 45 seconds then went right back to the bickering and cat fighting of the 3 guest femme fatals. At some point, Miss Holly the Space Cadet event said in her soothing Australio-Hippy voice that "we all need to share our partners. If your friend is lonely or bored, you should offer your spouse to her. It's a beautiful thing really". HA! I'm not the most faithful person on earth but this is just plain wacky. Then you got the other woman attacking Bethenny by saying that "the next reality show should be about mistresses, and how they fall for married men, never get the goods and must live in the wives's shadows. This is the next reality show!" Well Bethenny replied to that one with a witty " If I was as angry as you, my husband would have cheated on me too."

What?! This is all happening a few minutes right before Anderson Cooper and the issue with the Muslim cultural center being built 2 blocks away from ground zero. Seriously?

Anyway, all this to say that this topic should not be discussed on t.v. and as long as no one is getting hurt then whatever. I have no idea what's right and what's not. All I know is that was one stupidly entertaining piece of news.

this blog makes me sound like I watch Dancing with the Stars and Say Yes to the Dress religiously but I really don't. I never watch t.v. on my own. I watch the news at Cody's, Dr.Phil was playing at work and I had no idea who Bethenny Frankel was until I googled her when I noticed she was on Perez Hilton alot.

What do you guys think?

Currently listening to Ellie Goulding, Lights


  1. Girl, why have I not been here before?

    I'm gonna have to agree with you a little bit on this one. Some marriages become strong after an affair and others disintegrate.

    The ones that survive, go through TONS of counseling, and realize that they want each other more than they thought.

    The ones that disintegrate, realize that they don't want to stay.

    But then, there are the exceptions who are swingers.

    I'm a strong believer that problems should be worked on as they arise, not bottled up.

    And you know what? Monogamy isn't for everyone.

  2. Wieners need 'giners. Right? So yeah, sometimes things happen. What's strange is that I cheated on one girlfriend, but another one (the crazy ex) I would never have cheated on. And not just cause I thought she would knife me.

    I notice that if in my mind I realize I'm passing up theoretical opportunities for awesome-unique-situations-with-sex because of my girlfriend, I slightly resent her for it. Weird, I know.

    But then if I think of them cheating, I want to barf. Hypocritical. I say do what ya gotta do, and just don't let the other person know!

    I've even said that before to girls I've casually dated. "We're not exclusive and you're free to do what you want, but don't let me know about it."

    People are crazy, non?

  3. in the end, where all hypocrites right?

    I mean, it's all about our own personal pleasure.

    I will be with someone because that person makes me feel good.I don't want to hurt this person because this person's pain will make me feel pain, and I don't want to feel pain.

    Anyway, life's great. Better enjoy as much as you can and not start thinking about things too deeply. No time for that!