Thursday, September 30, 2010

The Gym

I got a gym membership a few weeks back. I started off motivated but ended up not going. I was always with Cody anyway. Audrey decided she would sign up, so I decided to sign up again. This way I could compete with her and get the motivation I need to get back into it. So I've been going everyday now, trying new things. All the classes are included in the membership so in 3 days I've done 3 yoga classes, 2 spinning and 1 pilates class. I thought yoga was gay. I mean, I hate the outfits people wear, the snobby/granola ways of the ladies who do it, the dumb meditation part and all the rest that is gay. Well, turns out I love yoga. It's so much fun. Especially when we go into warrior pose or even better, the flying warrior pose. It makes you feel like a manga character jetting through the sky like a rocket while evading the power force missiles of your opponent.

In the first yoga class we took there were 3 guys. One older gentleman who I kept on peeking at and have come to the conclusion that he is there for the purification of his soul and to strengthen his core. the 2 other guys though, seemed about my age, maybe a bit younger, and I don't think they were there for the same reasons as gentleman #1. They were right up front, in the middle. I was in the back, so facing forward, I could see them perfectly. One of the guys was wearing extremely tight pants and a really short shirt(?). It was funny watching him because assuming the downward facing dog or even the resting pigeon was impossible for him and his tight pants.


fast forward to tonight.

I go to yoga class #3 on my own because Audrey has an interview. I notice again just one guy and he seems to be recovering from an injury and taking it slowly getting back into the game. No problem there. After class I decided to go do a little 15 minutes of cardio, just for fun (right.) I'm almost done, about 12:26 mins in and a guy comes next to me. Now there are at least 6 other free ellipticals. But whatever, I'm listening to music and when I have my headphones in I can't hear you. Well this guy tries anyway with the typical: :"Hey, I like your tattoos!"

Oh, right... Thanks.

So we end up talking about music, school, how I look like Pocahontas with my braids and a few other things, like how apparently I'm not bad at yoga for my first week (He's been watching me?! Creep.) next thing I realise, it's been 29:31 mins! I'm like: Cool, I'm losing weight and not noticing it!

I decide it's enough and I need to go home so I clean my machine, say goodbye to my new friend and start exiting. But my new friend wants more. So he stops his sissy little 16:48 mins workout and follows me down to the locker rooms. He asks if we can exchange numbers so that we could workout together. I hesitate a bit, but I'm very much useless when it comes to telling people no so we exchange. As I'm watching him enter my number, I notice his huge boner. In his tight pants. Then and there do I realise he's the guy I was making fun of in my yoga class #1 and that I was right, and he was only there to hit on girls. I start laughing, but then hold it in and continue laughing, only in my head. He's sort of tilting his hips towards the locker room as to hide his chubby but I play dumb and keep him there a bit longer, just cause it's funny. At that moment, his friends (all the tall dudes that were playing basketball while he was macking on me) walk around us to get to the locker room. I heard them laugh, I saw the look in his eyes, they all saw his stiffy. Oh the roaring laughs! It was great.

As soon as I stepped outside I called Audrey to tell her about the funny event that just happened with Tight Pants. We both laughed.

It was raining mad outside.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

You're Sharp Like a Knife and You Fit Like a Glove

Went downtown for a meeting on my newly acquired internship for Freedom 4 Fashion (thank you very much)and guess who I saw?

This morning I went through some of my old notebooks and read some old stories and texts I used to really enjoy.

Yup, I crossed paths with Melancholy Boy. I read some of his thoughts in the morning, and saw him in the afternoon.

He was walking in the opposite direction going into the metro, I was walking out. He was marching forward with a good stride and a smug look on his face. He pointed forwards then turned his head back to say something I could not understand. He was talking to one of the most beautiful girls I had ever seen. She chuckled at what he said, walking a bit slower behind him and never set her eyes off of him. She had the kind of look that's ready for adventure. She had a look that makes you understand she knows her partner in crime, admires him and knows that she has a hold on him. She knows him like no one else does. She admires him because he admires her. And she has a hold on him because she holds him, and he holds her.

It was kind of mesmerizing.

Maybe this is grand to me because I see this as one of his stories of young lovers always looking for more. Maybe they are not in love. Maybe they are. Maybe she is his cousin. I like to think they're soulmates. And that she's as special as he is.

Currently listening to At War with the Sun, The Big Pink

Wednesday, September 22, 2010


The word shenanigan (a deceitful confidence trick, or mischief) is considered to be derived from the Irish expression sionnachuighim, meaning "I play the fox."
Bet you didn't know!

Should I go?

I really want to go. I'm a bit scared though. But I should, right?

This is the club I used to work at about a year ago! Funny eh?

Monday, September 20, 2010

I'm glad I quit.

Remember the first salon I worked at? The one I tried so hard to bring back to life? The one I was working at 6 days a week. The one I was working at 6 days a week because I was being promised a sweet, sick-ass job, a job I dream about everyday. The one I quit working at because I was sick of being promised things that never happened. Ya, that one.

I'm currently reading up on Quebec designers because I'm currently trying to get this intern spot on a huge charity fashion show happening in 2011. Things are going well, I think I might actually make the team..! Anyway, As I'm reading Montreal Fashion blogs I come across this:

“The truth Behind Stone Rose.

Montreal residents Abbas Visram and Jared Langleben along with childhood friends Jonathan Sharvit and Shai Medalsy are the faces behind Stone Rose, S.R is a Montreal-Miami based company that at first sight reveals the perfect success story of an ambitious hardworking and talented group of friends with a dream.

Unfortunately that dream is nothing more than a nightmare for the thousands of individuals around the world who have been defrauded by this unscrupulous group , their self proclaimed success story is nothing more than a fabricated bag of lies in order to legally re-invest their dirty money and allowing them to live in extreme luxury.
For the past six years their main criminal activity has been and remains in the following sectors:
Fraud, Piracy Spam Telemarketing Scams Identity Theft Credit Card Fraud
Using countless amounts of fraudulent web sites in a vast range of fields ranging from Bootleg DVD’s & Conterfeit Electronics to Basement made Vitamins & Conterfeit Fashion ,this group has accumulated substantial amounts of money in order to legally invest in new ventures such as Stone Rose and real state.

Their criminal activities are no longer a Secret Story……

(Secret Story Investments,is a company incorporated in Cyprus and one of their offshore shells used to commit their criminal activities )

Story developing-To be continued….”

I used to believe I would get that job. I worked on a brand report for months, detailing every brand to the core, who they would appeal to, where the HQ's were located, websites and other related brands. I edited ans printed it many times for him to show his "partners". I was doing great, I was going to meet them soon. But I quit my job.

My old boss, and his friends, run Stone Rose.

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Fox Land

I like to browse the "missed connections" section on Craigslist. Sometimes there are pretty funny posts, sometimes too romantic and sometimes well you just wonder.

Your Guardian Angel... (Fox Land)

Hey lil Fox, can't send you e-mail anymore.... ...just want to wish you love, peace and happiness all over! You're very special, trust yourself. Someday, you'll be able to open your heart and this someday, you'll find someone who'll be willing to walk all day just to kiss you good night! Good luck. Don't be scared and stay true to yourself! xx Your guardian angel... who's still too blind to see it! :)

Location: Fox land

I sent he or she an email asking for an explanation. I know It's none of my business but it mentions a fox and a land of the Fox. Hopefully I get the story on this!

Currently listening to New Rules, Kele

Oral Fixation

Last night I went to dance class. What type of dance did I learn? Hip Hop. I know, I know. Pretty ghetto right?


I've been biting my nails since I was like, 6 years old. I guess it's stress but I don't know. Lately I haven't been biting them. I actually have full sized nails on my fingers.

After my awful attempt at being gangsta,I got back home to find a few very buzzed friends sitting around our living room. I decided to join in (just so I could fall asleep, duh.)We partied a bit, cracked a few jokes, sent naughty text messages and felt like colouring our Spider Man colouring book but once everything was setup, decided colouring was too much of a hassle. About an hour later everyone left and Audrey proposed to smoke a bit more, you know, to sleep extra well. So we did. During our stoner conversation, I explained to her how I had never smoked a cigarette in my life but lately I feel like I've been craving it. Everyone around me smokes and my mom used to smoke tons around me so it makes sense that I would be a little addicted, right? As I said this, Audrey agreed with me with an "OMG I was thinking the same thing!!". We then got distracted by something, I don't remember what and that was the end of it. I left her room to go to my room, then went back to her room to wish her goodnight? ( it kinda happened like that) As I walk in the hallway I see her at the end face down holding something in her hand. She lifts her head, puts her hand forward and says:" I found the devil." At that moment she opened the pack of smokes she was holding to show me one last cigarette. We then started giggling uncontrollably and lit it. She inhaled once, then twice looking more relaxed than I had ever seen her. She took a third hit. Dry-heaved. Threw cigarette on floor. Ran to bathroom.

I followed her, sat on the floor and laughed at her dry-heaving and putting her finger down her throat. It sounds horrible but it was the funniest thing ever. I was laughing so hard she even started laughing too, as she was trying to vomit. This went on for about 5 minutes. Greatness.

I always need to have something to my lips or in my mouth. I finally stopped biting my nails. I don't think smoking is any better though. Hmm...

Monday, September 13, 2010

Best. Trailer. Ever.

Sometimes, things are not meant to be.

I'm a strong believer in making things happen for yourself. I think if we put in enough effort, or plan accordingly, almost anything is possible. It's not guaranteed success. If you say the wrong thing or act the wrong way but in general things are pretty easy to figure out.

Their are times though, when it just can't work. Life (God, destiny, wtv) just won't let it happen. So we must accept.

About a year ago, in Montreal, a young couple was out having lunch on the terrace of a downtown hotel. It was a little windy but still nice enough to eat outside. A lapel from the side of the building loosened and fell on a girl. The lapel struck her, cracking her skull open and killing her. This girl was out with her boyfriend eating lunch on the terrace of her hotel. He was about to propose to her.

Currently listening to A Cipher in a Foreign Sky, Raised by Swans

Thursday, September 9, 2010

I want to leave

Friendship Cove is no more...

One of Montreal's sweetest spots for underground shows. Some crappy building on a crappy street somewhere kindof downtown but not really where all the grittiest and meanest shows happened. No one really knew if people lived there but it look like it. On the second floor was a fully functional but very dirty kitchen. On the main floor was the gig area as well as this awesome little hole in the wall with pillows and other comfy arrangements. The walls were painted in whatever was going through whoever's head a the moment. It's now officially closed. The lease expired and the rent was raised or police shut it down. Either way, Montreal is losing all it's great spots. We're losing it all.

All the old abandoned malt factories or disintegrating churches are being torn down and rebuilt into trendy new lofts. What is left for us Urban Explorers to explore?! Canada, Montreal specifically does not have much of a culture apart from all these great little spots. These hangout spaces are what defines our city and spirit. We have nothing else to show but these little gems hidden on the corner or back alley of every few streets. It angers me. Try and find a nice wooden area to get lost and reflect. You won't. They're all gone.

I watched Into the Wild. I now need to get away for a bit. I mean, I've wanted to get away for some time. But now it's time. I feel like I need to be with myself, completely. Maybe not in Alaska, starving. No need for such extreme measures. Plus I wouldn't last more than 3 days without food and even though I can shoot a target doesn't mean I'll have the guts to hit a fluffy rabbit or even less a big moose. After my plans to spend the Summer in England went down the drain I was hoping to spend a few weeks in northern Ireland raising horses. I think that would be a good getaway.

Seems this is the week for movie quotes. Into the Wild is Christopher McCandless's story. If you don't know the story, have itchy feet syndrome or just yearn for something that is pure and true, I suggest you read up a bit on him. It'll inspire you. A quote that stuck with me (amongst many other great ones) is Christopher McCandless's words on his quest to find what he's looking for.

"The climactic battle to kill the false being within and victoriously conclude the spiritual pilgrimage."

Wouldn't attaining this state, reaching a, maybe not complete, but faint glimmer of an idea of who we are be possibly the most fulfilling feeling there is?

Currently listening to How to Say Goodbye, The Magnetic Fields

Sshh... Don't wake up the bum...

About 2 weeks ago it was pouring hard. Like tons.

There's a bum who lives in a shopping cart around my place. I had never met him but had heard of him. He knows my roommates and watches their cars in the back lot. He makes sure everything is under control. They told me he was nice. Well on the night that I went to a stranger's apartment for a bit of pillow fun, I received a text from Audrey. " Don't get scared when you get back, The Bum is sleeping inside tonight." I thought that was hilarious so I left in a hurry and rushed back home. As I walked in a heard a loud boom than went straight for Audrey's bedroom where I woke her up, told her about the kinky adventure I had just got back from and giggled at the fact that The Bum was actually the one who got scared of me when I walked in. He was supposed to sleep in the entrance but (without my roommates approval) went to our kitchen and slept on our bench. The loud boom was him falling off when he heard me open the door... LOL.

I went to my room but then I got hungry. And I can't sleep when I'm hungry. But I was shy of going in my kitchen because The Bum was sleeping. After a few minutes of deciding whether or not I should go and if I should bother putting decent clothes on before going (if he's sleeping he won't know what I'm wearing right?) I tiptoed to the kitchen, opened the pantry delicately, made myself a bowl of honey Shreddies in a quiet fashion and proceeded to eat silently. I never once looked at him. I was shy! As I'm putting the bowl in the dishwasher, again trying to be as silent as I can, I hear: "I'm not sleeping."

He wasn't sleeping. And has seen me go through all this trouble of being quiet as a mouse for no reason. Hmmm... So we started talking. His name is Ted. Lost his wife in a fire a few years back. LOVES The Rolling Stones and was grateful that my roommate gave him a pair of socks. Ted is a polite bum. He saw I was hungry so he opened the fridge and showed me the food he had brought for us. It was a thank you for letting him sleep inside. He brought us food. Funny how that works.

When I woke up, he was gone. But when I got back the next evening he walked in on me eating a bowl of cereal again. He said he knows he should ask permissions but my roommate was in his room with his girlfriend so he didn't know if he should bother them? It wasn't raining, or cold. But I'm not good at being straight forward with people I pity. I told him that no, he shouldn't bother them, and it's fine for tonight. Just talk with him tomorrow.

Later that night, Seaweed got out of the bedroom and I heard her bark. At Ted. The next morning my roommate told me that he would let Ted know that he can't sleep inside anymore. He says we've been good enough to let him sleep inside on that rainy night, and we're better than to make someone who has it hard's life worst.

That makes sense. We can't have a smelly hobo sleeping in our apartment every time it's rainy outside. But now that we've let him in once, what happens in winter? When it gets close to -40 some nights? What happens then? How do we keep our home our sanctuary but help out others who need it without crossing any lines?

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

200 Days of Cody

I watched 500 Days of Summer a few nights ago. Has anyone of you ever seen it? I hated it. I mean, I love Joseph Gordon-Levitt alot, he's in one of my favorite movies (mysterious skin anyone?) and Zooey Deschanel is a cutie and recently married one of my favorite musicians so I figured I would love it. But I didn't. It was awful! I hated Zooey's character, I felt horrible for Joseph's and about half way through I said out loud: " I don't like this movie. At all."

It's just constant torture and being unsure of what will happen. I hated it. Possibly because I was Joseph and Cody was Zooey.

At the end of the movie (spoiler alert?) Zooey meets Joseph at their favorite spot (she is married to someone else by then) and explains that she was never sure with him, and even though she said earlier she didn't believe in love, when she met her husband, she just knew.

That scene made me appreciate the movie a bit more. It made sense. I was happy that they didn't end up together or that Zooey realized she made a mistake. If you are unsure of someone no matter how hard that person tries then it's not meant to be. It will hurt for the one chasing but after putting in all you can, it's just not worth it. Sometimes you can earn someones love and sometimes you can't.

I've had it with you people who can't learn to love again after being heartbroken. All of you who've had 1 or maybe countless bad relationships. Is it really worth never trying again? Why do we remember only the bad? Are all the great moments of epicness or the little memories of discreet affection not good enough anymore? Do we rather stay in limbo and never feel anything? Good or bad? Life is a trade off. Everything must balance out in the end. You'll have good times and bad. Deal with it and move on. You only live once. I think.

Now if you'll excuse me I will go shop away my rage for people that won't even try.

P.s. Pictures and videos of my parents' wedding coming up soon. They're pretty fun! Also, pictures of yesterday's strange day at Piknic Electronik with my lovely bff.

Currently listening to I am Leaving, Blue Roses

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Is this What You Always Want Me For?

I didn't listen. Again.

I kept on trying, I got back for a few days and now it's gone again. I'm heartbroken, sicker than ever and just... not in my head, but really deep. I think it was love. A kind of love anyway.

Now he doesn't believe me. But he won't even look at the facts of what I've been hiding. I told Audrey when I started talking to him again that I wished he would just go away. Not because I didn't want him, I want him more than anything else, but because I can't take this. It's just always been impossible. Never have I been in so much physical pain from something so psychological.

I want this to be over and go far far away. I'm just waiting for another call.