I didn't listen. Again.
I kept on trying, I got back for a few days and now it's gone again. I'm heartbroken, sicker than ever and just... not in my head, but really deep. I think it was love. A kind of love anyway.
Now he doesn't believe me. But he won't even look at the facts of what I've been hiding. I told Audrey when I started talking to him again that I wished he would just go away. Not because I didn't want him, I want him more than anything else, but because I can't take this. It's just always been impossible. Never have I been in so much physical pain from something so psychological.
I want this to be over and go far far away. I'm just waiting for another call.